This is such a powerful realization for me, I am not even sure I can articulate it, but I’m going to try!

An Example:
I went to a  friend’s birthday party over the weekend and when I gave her my gift I said:
“ sorry, it’s not very exciting”, the words just spilled out apologetically and then the evening moved on.  Later, another friend who had observed the exchange commented that it was an odd thing to say “why were you apologizing when you bought her a nice gift?  That was a weird thing to say!” she said to me.

Well, this is what my mind did…in sequence:

“How rude, why did she even bother to tell me she thought I was weird?!”
“She’s weird for telling me I’m weird!”
“I’m not weird.”
“Oh god, maybe I am weird?  Did I do something wrong?”
“Oh No, I DID do something wrong, I shouldn’t have said that”
“Does the party girl now think I’m weird too?”
“I diminished the gift, why did I do that?”
“Why do I apologize for everything, I’m such a schmuck”
“Ugh, I really suck”

Ok, don’t tell me you don’t do this too sometimes!!   But notice where I go!  My friend tells me I said a weird thing and I end up beating myself up and turning the simple statement into a self-massacre!

So I am sitting there with my torrent of thoughts, feeling bad about myself, and feeling angry at my friend for starting all this in the first place, when my ‘wise self’ whispers:

“Is it true? ‘That was a weird thing to say’, is it true?”

Umm, yeh, I guess it was.

From here a strange thing happened.  I simply saw the truth in it.  I saw that I didn’t need to apologize for buying a birthday gift for someone.  I saw that my friend was gifting me criticism so I could see what I was doing and be more aware next time.  I saw that my friend’s honesty was my growing awareness.  And I got very excited that I was seeing it so clearly.  In that moment all my anger and stress simply dropped away, I fell into peace again.

Who would you be without your story?

“But, but…I hate arrogant, self-righteous people who can’t apologies!  That’s NOT me!!!”  So whose being arrogant and self-righteous now?  You know those moments when people call you stubborn or stuck up or down-right WRONG!  And you feel so outraged and angry and you look at them incredulously and think ‘WHAT?!?!  They are the ones being stubborn, stuck up and definitely WRONG!

Welcome to the mirror

There is a very simple way to begin the healing process and see for yourself the healing and freedom that can take place when you stop the denial.  Think of anything that causes you stress around other people – what beliefs are you carrying around about what people should and should do or say:

• People should be courteous
• People should be kind
• People should not kill
• People should apologize when they are wrong

Any thought that when I ask “Is it True?” you answer with an unswerving “YES”

This is denial.  You are fighting reality, you are fighting what is showing up in the world – we are not talking about morality here, I am only interested in the truth – not my moral truth, my religious truth, the ACTUAL truth.  Look around and take off the blinkers.  People are rude, people push into the queue, people kill each other, people don’t apologize.  I am screaming against the truth of it, and then wondering why I experience stress.  Screaming doesn’t solve anything….. isn’t that closer to the truth?

What would happen if you let go of the thought, just for a moment.  Who would you be without the story of ‘he should do this’ or ‘they should do that’?  Can you even imagine life without your constant barrage of thinking?  What is under it all?  Could it be freedom, peace, calm, joy?

So long as we insist on holding on to the thoughts, we leave ourselves no choice but to experience the stress of it. “It shouldn’t be like this” we scream…”but it is” the universe says back…”but it SHOULDN’T be” we scream…”but it is” the universe says back…

How can we possibly hear our truth, experience the peace or love underneath the screaming?

Here’s what I know has been true for me….

• The less I fight reality the more I see it as kind and loving
• The more I accept what others say to me, the more I see it is always true, the less impact it has on me
• The less I expect others to do, the more they actually do
• The less I expect myself to do, the more I actually want to do
• If I stop pushing myself, I get more done effortlessly
• The more I inquire as to my thoughts, the more I love them.

Come and experience it for yourself!

See here for more info

For a private facilitated session, please call me! Elaine 9660 4893

So here goes an intellectual version of the real thing!
#1 Literal Listening:

In many other tools and philosophies (Law of Attraction, NLP) we are taught that the universe hears us literally, and whatever we focus on is what we get.  So for example in LOA we do not use negatives such as “I don’t want to be fat” because the Universe picks up on the focus ie the word ‘fat’ and gives us more of that.

In learning to speak literally and to get really clear on what we want, Byron Katie flips it and asks us to get really literal on what we hear as well.  It seems so obvious, but it was a real lightbulb for me.

For example, you’re having a fight and your partner yells at you “You’re not Listening to me!!!!!” what goes on in your head when that is said is probably a similar version to what goes on in my head:

“That’s not true!  I totally listen, he’s the one not listening!”
“I can repeat everything he said to me!”
“I don’t need to listen, he’s already repeat himself 5 times”
“I don’t need to listen, he’s wrong anyway”  Etc etc

In literal listening, we hear the statement: “You’re not Listening to me!!!!!” and we pause, take it in, and ask ourselves…is it true?

Well, duh!  With all that nonsense going on in my head, of course I’m not listening!

The usefulness of this technique is in its simplicity, and truth.  If we assume the Universe is kind, everything that happens to us is part of the Universal support for our growth and learning.  So when someone says to us “You’re not Listening to me!!!!!” it’s a strong message from the Universe that we need to start listening – yes to the person who is talking to us, but also elsewhere in our life, eg. To ourself, to the world, to others, to our body etc etc where else in your life are you not listening?

There’s another way this works that is a real gem if you are fed up of fighting with loved one.  I now see every argument as a gift from the Universe, lots of messages for me to meditate on!  Recently my hubbie and I started a heated discussion on the topic of our children, but instead of rushing to my own defense, I rushed for the pen and paper, sat down and started scribbling furiously as he talked “What else?” I asked him.  You can imagine it stopped the fight dead.  Who can stay angry when you are nodding and writing and feeling gratitude that your partner is such a brilliant teacher, and who can remain unheard and frustrated when your partner is scribbling down your every word and asking for more feedback?

The end of War, now that’s something worth learning!

Sunday 16th October, 10am-5pm
$180

“My partner doesn’t appreciate me.”
“My mother doesn’t love me.”
“I need more money.”
“I don’t like my body.”

Thoughts like these run through our minds many times a day, creating fear, anger, stress, and depression. How different would your life be if these thoughts never bothered you again? The Work of Byron Katie is a process that clears the mind. It is a way to identify and question the thoughts that cause all the suffering and violence in the world.

This technique is very effective for people who feel stuck in patterns of behavior or thought, who are struggling with relationships, anger issues or trauma and sadness.  Inquiry is a simple process where the mind is harnessed and invited to explore other alternatives to its current line of thought.

During this day, we will look at some of the thoughts creating the most stress in your life.  We will learn a simple process for questioning those thoughts and exploring other ways of thinking.  We will learn through case studies, experience, and helping to facilitate each other through the Work.  This is a Work day, an opportunity to release those beliefs, gain greater clarity and lighten the load.  Anyone with an open heart and mind can do this Work

Are you ready to release some of your tightest, most rigid beliefs?  If so, come along!  This immersion is open to all levels, it is a day to inquire, to deepen you inquiry if you are already familiar with the Work, and to gain greater insights.

To book your seat: contact us

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Byron Katie